Recently my mind and heart have been much exercised by the phenomenon of judgementalism in society. Here I am not so much concerned with the law and the verdicts given in courts, but more I am thinking about the kind of judgements that are voiced by a person about someone else. It is particularly sad when this happens in the Christian community. Matthew 7: 1-5 warns of the consequences of such judgementalism. More often than not when a person thinks judgementally about another, they do so on the basis of their own way of thinking, or reacting, or out of secretly held desires, similar to those they are judging others for. In psychology this is known as “projection”. Unfortunately we all do this at times. There is a great need for us to see others through the eyes of Jesus and to be forgiving in the way that Jesus is forgiving.
It is not only the criticisms and judgements which are spoken out loud. There are times when these remain unspoken. Such thoughts are just as dangerous as they affect the way we relate to those of whom we are thinking critically. They go round and round in our thoughts and in the end can make us bitter or resentful towards the other person. Recently, I have heard of Christians who have not spoken to each other for many years as a result of just such judgemental thoughts being harboured by one of the people involved.
Unfortunately this sort of thing is not a rare or isolated occurrence. Frequently it can be the product of a simple misunderstanding, which could have been put right quickly through a timely, open and frank discussion. Because this so often doesn’t happen, the matter simmers in the background and acts as a poison in the relationship. Both parties suffer, although it may well be that the one bearing the grudge is the one more negatively affected.
Some time ago while in a previous employment, as a result of complaints being made to the boss several of the staff had to leave the company. One of those who left mistakenly blamed me, although I was in no way to blame. Many years later I bumped into him on a railway station. I greeted him in a friendly fashion, only to be rebuffed and left staring at his retreating back.
From this encounter I quickly realised that his judgmental attitude and possible bitterness was having more negative effects on him than they were on me, as I had been completely unaware of his feelings and attitude towards me.
I never saw or heard from him again.
From this encounter I soon realised that I needed to get rid of any bitterness arising from my judgemental thinking. I spent time before God asking Him to reveal any anger, bitterness or resentment arising from judgementalism or other wrong thinking that I was holding on to. The things that were revealed to me were sometimes painful and shocking to realise.
They had to be got rid of!
It was neither easy nor quick, but it was something I knew had to be done. The act of forgiving those that had wronged me, or that I had only imagined had wronged me took time and effort, but the peace I received when I made each act of forgiveness, and there were many, grew every time. Unfortunately, it is easy to slip back into old habits and ways of thinking. So, every so often it is necessary to get before God in prayer and go through the process yet again.
When someone speaks or thinks judgementally about another person it in fact calls down judgement on the person making such judgements. Why? It is because such a way of thinking about others is often born out of the persons own way of thinking, living or acting.
Through experience as a teacher, I have noticed that people will often jump to blame some nameless person for “stealing” something when it has in fact only be mislaid. The thinking may go something like this.
“I can’t find my pen. I don’t want to admit I’ve lost it. I’ll blame someone else and I can not be blamed.”
A simplistic example to be sure, but it is often the way that those who do not respect other people’s property will be quick to accuse others of stealing. Whereas a person who would never even dream of stealing will simply say “I’ve lost my pen.”
(Please do not confuse this with a real victim of burglary or robbery and their reaction to the loss caused to them.)
When it comes to personal relationships, one person in the relationship may often accuse the other of doing the things they secretly want to do themselves. This can have destructive consequences in the relationship.
Because judgementalism so often springs from our own ways of thinking which we then“project” on to the target of our critical thoughts. This in turn calls down judgement on ourselves because it derives from within us.
In Luke 18:10-14, Jesus tells a parable of two men who went to the temple to pray. The attitudes of the two men are in complete contrast. One sees no fault in himself but faults in others, the other sees only his own faults and begs God for forgiveness. The interesting thing is that the first man sees the faults in others, but does not see the faults and sins that he is actually guilty of, mainly those of pride, self-deception and – dare I say it – arrogance.
The publican on the other hand makes no judgements about others, but freely confesses his own sinful nature and then seeks forgiveness.
The parable ends with Jesus affirming that it is this man who receives forgiveness from God:
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. Luke 18:14 KJV
Many times in the New Testament believers are exhorted to encourage and build up fellow believers in Christ Jesus. If we can direct our thoughts along these paths we will be sowers of peace and harmony.
Be blessed.
Bruce